If January Didn’t Feel Like a Fresh Start, You’re Not Alone

There’s a familiar narrative we’re fed every January.

Fresh start.

Clean slate.

New habits.

New energy.

New you.

And yet, for many people, January doesn’t feel like a beginning at all. It feels like something to get through.

This year, I noticed that for myself.

Leading up to the holidays, there was a lot of the usual self-reflection for me. Thinking about who I wanted to be and how I wanted to be. I’ve actually enjoyed January for a long time now. I like the quieter pace, fewer social obligations, the sense of space it can offer.

But this January looked different.

I didn’t throw myself back into intense training or rigid routines. I didn’t force myself into the gym or out for a run just because the calendar had turned. Apart from the usual walks I’d take anyway, my body rested. My diet wasn’t perfect, but it was chosen consciously and without guilt. I ate in ways that supported me rather than punished me.

And for the first time in a while, I noticed something important:

I wasn’t avoiding self-care, I was redefining it.

There’s often an unspoken pressure in January to “make up for” December. To earn rest. To fix ourselves. To prove we’re disciplined, motivated, and back on track. But that pressure can quickly turn into self-criticism, especially when energy is low or life has already taken a lot out of us.

As a psychotherapist, I see this every year. People come into therapy saying things like:

“I thought I’d feel better by now.”

“I’ve done nothing this January.”

“Everyone else seems to have restarted except me.”

If that resonates, I want to say this clearly:

there is nothing wrong with you.

Our nervous systems don’t run on deadlines.

Emotions don’t follow timetables.

And wellbeing isn’t built through force.

Sometimes January is simply about surviving. About slowing down. About letting yourself be where you are, rather than where you think you should be. That doesn’t mean you’re behind, it often means you’re listening.

One of the most damaging words I hear in the therapy room at this time of year is should.

I should be exercising.

I should feel motivated.

I should be over this by now.

There is no deadline on feeling better.

No universal pace.

No single right way to start a year.

For me, trusting that I’ll return to the gym and to running when it feels supportive, not obligatory, has been part of practising what I encourage others to do: respond with compassion rather than pressure.

February doesn’t require a reset. It doesn’t demand reinvention. Sometimes it simply offers a quieter moment to notice where you actually are without judgement.

And if where you are feels heavy, flat, anxious, or stuck, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It might mean you’ve been coping for longer than you realise.

Counselling isn’t about pushing yourself to “get back on track.” It’s a space where you don’t have to perform optimism or justify why you’re struggling. A place to slow things down, make sense of what’s been building, and feel supported rather than judged.

So if January didn’t feel like a fresh start for you, you’re not alone.

And if February feels more like a continuation than a beginning, that’s okay too.

You’re allowed to take your time.

And if you’d like to explore whether counselling could support you, I’d be glad to hear from you. You can book a free, informal, no-obligation consultation call. It's simply a chance to talk things through and see what feels right.