The Weight Of Being "The One"

We all play roles in our lives, sometimes without even realising it.

The strong one.

The funny one.

The calm one.

The one who gets things done.

The one people come to for advice.

On the surface, some might say some of these sound positive, admirable, even. Who wouldn’t want to be seen as reliable, resilient, capable, or kind?

But over time, those roles can start to define us. We build a version of ourselves around them, and people come to expect it.

And quietly, we start to expect it too.

Then there are the other “ones” the anxious one, the overthinker, the worrier, the panicker.

Sometimes these labels stick too, and they can shape how we see ourselves, even long after life has moved on.

Whether the role feels positive or not, both can carry weight.

Because being the one means keeping up the version of ourselves the world recognises, even when we don’t feel like it.

I often see this in counselling: people exhausted from holding up the mask.

The strong one can’t crumble.

The funny one can’t go quiet.

The calm one can’t lose their temper.

The reliable one can’t say no.

And the anxious one can’t just “snap out of it.”

It’s a strange kind of loneliness, being known, but not fully known.

And yet, none of these parts of us are fake. They’re all real, just incomplete. We’re not one thing, we’re many things. But sometimes, we forget we’re allowed to be all of them.

If you’ve ever felt that pressure to hold it all together, to stay in character, to be “the one” you’re not alone.

Counselling can be a space where you don’t have to perform. A space to take the weight off for a while. A place where you can just be you without needing to be anyone else.

And if that sounds like something you’ve been craving, I’d be glad to hear from you.

Book a free, no-obligation consultation call today for a chance to talk things through and see what might help.