When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Fine

We’ve all said it: “I’m fine.”

It’s polite. It’s quick. It keeps things moving. And most of the time, it’s easier than saying what’s really going on.

But behind those two small words, there’s often something much bigger... stress, sadness, worry, loneliness, fear... feelings we’ve learned to keep neatly tucked away because opening up feels uncomfortable, or even unsafe.

Sometimes it’s said with a small smile, sometimes with a shrug, sometimes with a deep breath that gives away more than the words do.

The truth is, “I’m fine” often translates to “I don’t know how to talk about this.”

The Everyday Mask

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that emotions make us weak, or that other people have it worse, or that we just need to “get on with it.”

So we build an armour to make us feel safe. Put on our mask, a professional one at work, a social one with friends, maybe even a quiet one at home. It helps us get through the day, but over time, it can start to weigh us down.

The problem is, when we constantly tell the world we’re fine, the world stops asking. And slowly, we start to believe that our feelings don’t deserve space or attention.

The Power of Saying Something Different

What I’ve come to see, both personally and professionally, is that the moment someone says something different — even slightly different — is where healing begins.

You don’t need to pour everything out. Sometimes it’s just:

“Actually, it’s been a bit tough lately.”“I’m not sleeping great at the moment.”“It’s been a strange week.”

Those small truths open doors to connection, to relief, and to change.

Because when you stop saying “I’m fine,” you give yourself (and others) permission to be real.

If This Resonates

If any of this feels familiar, if you find yourself saying “I’m fine” a lot but feeling anything but, you’re not alone.

Counselling can offer a quiet space where you don’t have to keep it together or find the right words straight away. Just a space to breathe, talk, and be heard.

If you’d like to explore whether counselling could help, I’d be glad to hear from you. Hit the free consultation button to arrange an informal, no obligation telephone call with me. A simple way to start a real conversation.